Laments of a Social Fly

Is love meant to be an Anchor?
When did it become a Social Sin?
It has been, and is, my life's
Only possible philosophy,
To love all, and even if,
I could not succeed,
To be decent and pleasant to Them.
I find myself, sometimes,
Surrounded by half-strangers,
For my philosophy keeps me
From edging closer.
Some other times,
Ifind myself surrounded,
By familiar, loving, smiling Faces.
Why must there be conflicts,
That hurt so?
Often enough - nay,
More than I understand,
Conflict breaks out around me;
Left, Right, Front, Back,
North, South, East, West.
Then, that triggers the Gun,
The center of me,
And I explode with an outbursting
Of emotions,
Shot from within,
Caught in an unwelcome crossfire.
Shot from within.
I don't know where to begin to understand,
I know not why I should be made so to comprehend.
Why am I put in these hateful situations?
I try to put on a brave face,
try to joke about it,
But some jokes are no laughing matter.
If I loved more people,
I would be hurt more, wouldn't I?
Experiences of a Social Butterfly,
Seep into my lacking life,
Life of a Social Fly.

There I go joking again.

Through my tears.