AAAARGH.......!!

Sorry, I just had to scream - even if I have to do it silently because I'm now alone at home and I'm afraid that 'something' might return this desperate yell, plus, I have neighbours and I still suspect that some of my previous ones moved away just to get away from all the yelling I 'supposedly' do everyday - and release at least some of the tension I've been feeling lately. F-I-N-A-L-L-Y handed in my Commonwealth Essay! Yay! By the way, it only took me this long because I'd written more than double past the word limit which was between 1200 to 1500. (I wrote something like 3800 plus words). I spent four days just to edit the whole thing! (And four days with Mum practically living in my ear so that she could nag and rant at me more conveniently). Now, it just looks weird. Glad that's over! I think I've learnt my lesson of writing without a proper draft beforehand...or maybe not. I just don't work that way. Plus, my unfinished MPH essay is (non)living proof. What's the word limit for that one? I think it's something between 2000 to 5000 words and I've already written...hehheh...4958 words. I have to cut again people! May the Lord help me!

Oh, and another vital reason for my yelling is the ballet concert last night. I thought I was going to faint. Honestly. Okay, I wasn't that nervous at first because I wasn't doing the part of police just yet, but then Angelina started going on about being nervous ("Aah, so scared, so nervous, so nervous..." or something along those lines), and Leanne was bouncing around like, quote Angelina, 'a gummy bear', and she's good at that role while I'm not. Just goes to show how stressed out (understatement of the millennium) I am now. I am so scared of mucking up, that I'm afraid I'll wet my pants. Good thing the toilet's so close. Maybe I'm just paranoid, but I've sort of taken my forgetting-the-steps half way through the rehearsal yesterday as a very sad omen. I'm also afraid that I won't change on time. And I did some little mistake in almost every part yesterday...Teresa's coming to the show... I feel like crying...

Exams start this coming Friday. (Before I continue, I would just like to take this opportunity to ask Why is my life like this?) I am way behind on a lot of my subjects, and I am sooo regretting my choice of not joining tuition classes earlier. I was doing fine at first... then, I was hit by the bombshell that was my prefect nomination and the duty schedule knocked me off my comfortable stool of Understanding. Sejarah is surprisingly not hateful anymore. I just wish that I could remember more than a fraction of it. I love Maths and Add. Maths. but wish that I could remember the formulas better. Am really interested in Bio., Chem., and Phys., just wish that I knew more about them and that something would sink in. Wish B.M was easier for me and Moral wasn't fixed on the many Definitions, and English was the National Language. O Lord, help me through this coming exam as you did for my PMR, and I pray to you that I will be able to understand, comprehend, and remember what I am to be tested on, and I pray that I will be able to answer the questions well. Amen.

[Did I mention that I got 7, that is to say, straight A's for my PMR? Am still waiting for the next PC fair so that I can get my promised Camera. Thank you another Teresa for rubbing it in my face when you got yours.]

Still nervous... *groan*

Really should get my work done...

Am still wondering if anyone reads this blog...